Theology vs. Romance Part I

Sometimes your theological beliefs can get you in trouble.

Let me explain. In college, I began to understand that no person could ever fill the psychological hole that we humans all experience. I realized that a girlfriend, no matter how amazing, can never complete me as a person. My years in college were spent trying to live this out. I wanted to be my own person without needing someone else there to "complete me." While there was great truth to the realization that no person could "complete me," I went about it in the wrong fashion.

It was not until my seminary experience, where some great professors and mentors guided me in this. They confirmed the truth that no person could fill the gap caused by original sin, I realized that only God can fill this hole. Friends, family, and love interests are important, but they never were intended to fill a hole that only God can fill. As a result, it led to a hunger to find my identity (and the fullness that it brings) in Christ. I began to mature in this and understand this concept as Christ intended me to grasp it.

Well, this is when it began to get problematic. I am growing in my faith and I get to a point where I understand that Jesus, and only Jesus is what completes me. No one else can fill the gap. No one can complete me. So....what do I do when my girlfriend (now my wife) lovingly looks me in the eyes and says "You complete me." It was a frightening experience! Do I lie and say the line back, and go against my theological convictions? Do I correct her and risk alienating her? Panic ensues! What do I do?

I told my students this story and they were curious as to how I responded. They called me a monster when  I told them that I responded by telling Alisa that she did not complete me. Had I left the statement there, I certainly would have experienced unquenchable wrath. But Bald Wisdom knows better...

I looked her in the eyes and said,  "You don't complete me. But because of you, the cup is overflowing."

Moral of the story:

• Wisdom (especially the bald variety) is a necessary companion of theology.
• Theology and romantic ideals don't always see eye to eye (hence the need for wisdom).
• Theology and romance will once again be at odds and some point in my relationship (and it has...so come back tomorrow...)