Three Questions

Last night at youth group I gave out a "what to pack" list to all the students who will be attending Winter Camp next week. As I was writing the list, a question popped into my mind. Why do I have to tell students to bring a toothbrush, deodorant, and underwear? These are common sense items that no one should forget when leaving home for a few days.

Then a second question crossed my mind. Why does at least one student always forget one of those critical items?

And now the gears are really spinning inside my brain and a third question arose. How come I have never run an illegal betting parlour so that I can take bets from congregants as to which student will forget said items?

Lessons in Causing Anxiety

It is an honor and privilege to write college letters of recommendation for students. And despite my joy in writing students a letter, it is not in my nature to do a simple task without having to try some fun. Here are some fun things to say to prospective college students.

1. I'd be happy to write you a letter of recommendation, but I'll have to warn the school about your bed wetting problem.

2. Are you sure you want a convicted felon writing you a letter of recommendation?

3. I'll write you a letter of recommendation, but I loathe the school you are applying to and I will make it known!

4. Due to the influx of letters of recommendation, there is a $5 processing fee. Plus, if you are not accepted into the university, you will be charged an additional $3 for wasting my time.

5. You are too dumb to get into that school, don't waste my time by asking me to write a letter of recommendation.

6. I'll be happy to write you a letter of recommendation, but the last 3 students that had me write for them didn't get accepted into any of the colleges they applied for.

7. I'll write your letter but I want you to know that I will be honest. Like brutally honest. Are you really sure you want me to write your letter of recommendation!?

Bible Translation Guide

A humorous web comic that I would like to share. Here is the original link: http://adam4d.com/translations/

Mixed Messages

Having been to several pastor/leadership conferences as well as reading books on the subject, improving as a leader is more complicated than I had thought. Depending on who you ask, what you read, or who you listen to, the messages can be quite contradictory.

Here are some examples.

1. Always be yourself. Unless you are not very good. Then be someone else.

2. People are messy and change is slow, but if there are problems in the church, it is the fault of the pastor/leader.

3. People don't remember your sermons. Rather, they will remember you by your interaction with them, but make sure you at spend at least 20 hours a week preparing a sermon (quite possibly the most antisocial activity a pastor can engage in).

4. Good leaders have strong boundaries, but bad leaders say "that's not my job."

5. A good leader gets things done at all costs, but a bad leader puts ministry ahead of family.

I hope you are all as confused as I am.

Back By Popular Demand?

It is encouraging when you disappear from the blogosphere and people actually notice. Since last summer, some events in my life led to a loss of motivation in maintaining the official Bald Wisdom blog (Are there unofficial Bald Wisdom blogs?) But, a new found motivation, combined with some encouraging words from friends, have rekindled a desire to share my nonsensical, but hopefully comedic, musings.

And since I am back writing, I want to return to where it all started. You see, when I first began blogging, I wrote about the Bible App Beat Down, in which I, as a speaker/teacher call out a student for playing with his/her phone, only to have the student show me that his/her bible app is open and they are following along diligently. Well I have gotten better at identifying students that have their bible app. I do not walk into that trap as frequently. But inevitably, a new force has emerged, heinous and evil! Now in the middle of a message, I see students plunking away on their touch screen keyboard. Assumptions run rampant. Texting? Playing a game? "Regardless, I will catch them and expose their insolence" I whisper to myself. And so, I make some sarcastic quip and my feelings of superiority immediately vanish when the student shows me a note taking app. Inadvertently, I have accused a student for being a knave, only to discover they have been writing down my every word. An apology does little to cover the shame.

And so, I now tread delicately and look for the advice. Maybe I just keep my mouth shut? But that has never been my style. Perhaps if I am suspicious of a student, I ask nicely for them to put it away rather than making a sarcastic quip? That doesn't seem very fun. Perhaps a complex system of mirrors mounted to the walls so that I can see all? Now that's an idea! Just need to find financial backers now...