Sometimes...

Sometimes I go visit other churches. I always ask to see their youth room. That way I can secretly judge how cool or lame they are based on what their youth room looks like.

Sometimes I go visit other churches. I like to see how stocked their food pantry is. That way I can secretly judge whether they love the community as much as my church does.

Sometimes I go visit other churches. I like to see if they have a large grassy area for students to play on. That way I can secretly spray grass killer on the lawn because I'm jealous that our church doesn't have a grassy area.

Sometimes I go visit other churches. I like to hear their musicians play. That way I can compare their worship band to my church's worship band.

Sometimes I go visit other churches. I like to look at the people sitting in their pews. That way I can secretly judge them for not being like me and going to church for all the right reasons.

Winter Advisory

Winter Camp is quickly approaching, and I am stoked! Sure the food is sub-par and I only get like a total of 6 hours of sleep, but I still love me some Winter Camp. It was in fact attending a Winter Camp with students many years ago that compelled me to go into ministry. So this is an exciting time. There will be many laughs, probably some cries, and some very putrid, stinky cabins (at least on the boys side of camp).  And as the weekend is approaching, I ask that you be praying.


Students: Be praying that the Lord will give you ears to hear what he is saying. Pray that distractions and barriers would be removed that would limit your experience of God's love for you.

Leaders: Pray for the students and that you will continue to grow in love for them. Pray that your capacity to be a mentor and leader would grow.

Adults: Pray for safety and pray that we would come back as a closer, tighter knit group!

Many thanks to those who have supported us through the various fundraising events and many thanks to those great parents who are shuttling us to and from camp! Much love to you all!

Perspective

Last summer, I took my students camping. We leisurely hiked portions of the American River and the Rubicon River. We played in the water, jumped off of rocks, and enjoyed the warm sun. It was a time of rest and relaxation as we could freely enjoy the outdoors without the burden of society upon our shoulders. It truly was heaven. My students called it fat camp. Perspective sure is a funny thing...

We all see and interact with this world differently. As  pondered over the last few days, I was convicted. My perspective is certainly different from the Lord's (how shocking!). Here is my prayer:

"O Lord, give me a glimpse of your divine perspective. 

Expand my capacity to see and understand the world as you do. 

May I never grow disillusioned with the people you have called me to love. 

And may I find joy in learning to serve you.

O Lord, be patient.

Equip me with courage.

Teach me in love.

And show me your perspective." 

The Unwanted Prayer

Students like it when I pray for them to do well on a school exam. They don't like it as much when I pray this:

"Lord, regardless of how so and so does on their exam, remind them that their identity is in you and not in their grades."

Sports Talk

I am not the best person at keeping a conversation going. Often, I don't know what to do with my freakishly long arms (true story, I often have to buy suits from the "irregular" rack because my arms are long for my height.). I can be prone to those awkward pauses and goofy smiles as I try to say something meaningful. My ability to hold a conversation is dramatically improved if the subject matter is regarding sports. Like many other men I know, I am very comfortable conversing about sports. One of the best parts about a conversation/argument on sports is defending players I love and chastising those I hate. Nevertheless, someone can drop a bomb that makes the entire conversation awkward.

Let me explain. Let's say I present my case on why I don't like Player X. Rather than refute my points, my opponents response is "Well, you know, Player X is a devout Christian."

What about I supposed to say to that? If I continue to chastise Player X than I will be guilty of hating a brother/sister in Christ. If I am no longer critical of Player X, then that shows that my convictions are weak. I don't want to be accused of being a flip flopper, but I don't want to hate on the Kingdom of God either.

So, before you drop the "Player X is a devout Christian" bomb, please consider the anxiety you will cause me. This might be one of those situations where ignorance is bliss.

Suit And Sour

This past Saturday, Frontline hosted the Second Annual Winter Banquet. If you are unfamiliar with this event, the youth at SVCC host a fancy dinner for the adults at the church. To add to the aura of it all, the youth dress up in fancy clothes and serve and interact with the adults. Not to be outdone by my beloved youth, I too wore a suit. Many in the church were shocked an surprised. One individual asked me why I don't dress in a suit when I preach. While unable to respond at the time, I now present my top 10 reasons why I do not wear a suit to church when I preach.

A Bohm in a suit is a rare thing indeed.

10. The Youth Pastor code strictly prohibits me from wearing a suit unless I am officiating a funeral/wedding, going to an interview, or playing paintball.

9. Fancy clothes actually would hinder my ability to recall my manuscript. For example, in college I learned that if a student was under the influence of drugs when he/she was studying for an exam, he/she should  take the exam under the influence of those same drugs. I cannot remember the name of that effect, but that effect also applies to preaching. If I do my study in casual clothes, I should also preach in casual clothes. To do anything else would be detrimental to my sermon and to the body of Christ.

8. Putting on a suit takes more time and energy than normal clothes. Ain't nobody got time for that.

7. Since I look so dashing in a suit, the listener would be unable to focus on the words coming out of my mouth.

6. I'm rebelling against my Baptist and Lutheran upbringing.

5. I don't know how to iron clothes.

4. I'd get divorced if I asked my wife to iron my clothes every Saturday night.

3. It's harder to swing Elliot Even around when restricted by a suit.

2. To wear a suit would be an insult to John the Baptist and all that he stood for.

1. I'm a slob. There I said it, are you happy?

Late Sanctification

Some people are always late. I am not one of those people. Those people drive me nuts. Nonetheless, in a grand gesture of heroism, I will offer a tip to all my friends with a delayed disposition. For remember, people grow weary of your excuses. At some point, your friends and family will no longer buy your excuses that attempt to explain your consistent lack of punctuality. Some suggest the solution is to be punctual. I disagree though. You just need a better excuse. Fortunately, I am here to help and I present to you two valid excuses that will have even the most critical of folks forgive your laggard like ways.

The 10:25
As in Luke 10:25-37. That's the parable on the Good Samaritan for those that didn't know. Just like that noble Samaritan, you must help someone in aid. And in doing so, no one will condemn you for being late. No, you will recognized as a hero and as a modern day Good Samaritan. "How noble" is what they will say when they find out you took a old, poor, wounded war widow to the hospital.

Now, I don't condone lying, so you must actually help someone in distress to legally use this excuse, and if you are the one that causes the distress, I am okay with that. If you need to beat up a war widow so that you have a target for your humanitarian efforts, by all means, beat up the war widow. Just never lie about it because lying is a sin.

The Billy Graham
This is the granddaddy of excuses. The ultimate way to get out of being late is to share the Gospel with someone. It doesn't matter how late you are if this is your excuse. Imagine you are late to an important dinner party. Do you really think anyone will give you a hard time for being late because you were spreading the Gospel message? For if anyone even looks disgruntled at you, you simply respond, "Isn't the salvation of a human being more important than our dinner party? So, if you are running late, stop at the gas station and start talking about Jesus. Not only might might the Kingdom of God gain a member, but you now have the ultimate justification for your dawdling.




**Warning** These excuses might not work on Non-Christians. Use at your own discretion

What Matters Most

Like many of my peers, receiving an education was something that was vitally important. This notion was passed down from my parents and reinforced by the Claremont sub-culture. As a result, it was inconceivable to do anything other than attend college after high school. I received my B.A. in 2006 and then, after a short break, I returned to school for my M.Div. I received my degree in 2010. While I was filled with pride over the accomplishment, I was not so naive to think that others shared in my pride. Nevertheless, I had put in the time to learn and study, and I saw myself as someone who was qualified to serve in ministry.

And perhaps, when you work with adults, experience and education are important qualities to determine if someone is qualified for a job. I work with students though. Students are not impressed with how many degrees you hold or what your GPA was. My students were consumed with matters of a more spiritual nature, such as the fact that I own a Xbox 360 and a Nintendo Wii. They were also impressed with the quality of my beard and my overwhelming baldness, but that's a conversation for another time.

So a word of a wisdom to all those considering ministry with students. Education is essential, and I am convinced that solid training and education is a critical part to serving in ministry, but at the end of the day, no one is impressed with where you went to school or what degree you got. But if you got a video game console (with 4 controller so they can play too), you can go anywhere in youth ministry!

A Modest Apology

As a youth pastor, I primarily spend time with the youth of our church (how shocking!). But on occasion, I venture into dangerous territory and I speak with adults. I like chatting with the adults, but sometimes I wonder if they like speaking with me. Here is an example of a conversation:

Adult: How was your week?

Me: It was great, but just super tiring.

Adult: Oh, is that so? What all came up?

Me: Well I took a few students out to lunch on Tuesday, then on Wednesday we had youth group and then the all-nighter, so I was up all night playing games and hanging out with students. Then on Friday we got together again and played more video games and board games and ate pizza. How was your week?

Adult: (At this point, they begin to wander off, mumbling under their breath. This is all that I can make out) "Lousy mermafu wake up 4:45 a.m., ferggan reduclou garou bills grarun aret traffic un del wih spid boss un leam staft meetings...."

Me:  Have a nice day!



So, I apologize to all the "real adults" out there in the world. I apologize for talking to you as if I were your equal. Now, excuse me, I have to go play mini-golf with a few students.

Youth Group Urban Legends

I don't know of any student who was part of a youth group that doesn't know how to play Chubby Bunny. It is a hilarious game that involves stuffing marshmallows into your mouth, one at a time. while trying to say the phrase "Chubby Bunny" after each marshmallow is inserted into said mouth.

While popular, I have not seen the game played in years. This is because of a infamous rumor that spread around youth groups that stated a girl died while playing chubby bunny. I never knew if it was true or not, but a visit to Snopes confirmed the rumor to be true. You can read the article here: Snopes Article on Chubby Bunny Urban Legend.

So with the news now confirmed, I can confidently say my students will never ever play Chubby Bunny under my watch. Rather, we will stick to safer games like Anarchy Ball, Savage Women, and other such games where students are required to tackle and maim each other.

The Legends of Dodgeball

Students love dodgeball. It is a game that appeals to a wide variety of students in youth groups across America. And every group that gathers to play dodgeball has their characters. Here a few I've noticed.

1. The Sneaker - Oh No! A ball grazed off your shoulder. A quick glance to the judges confirms that the judges missed it. Then play on! Yet, little do they know I see all, and they missed their opportunity to come clean. I love nothing more than to publicly humiliate the sneaker for their cheating ways.

 2. The Debater - When this person is called out by the judges, be warned, for you will now receive a five minute presentation on how the ball physically could not of hit them. Never mind the fact that everyone in the room all saw the same thing happen.

3. The Kamikaze - Conservative play is for the weak. This person plays on the front lines and they have one goal. Take out as many people before their inevitable removal from the game.

4. The Coward - This person is usually a male who hides behind the females for protection. For shame...

5. The King - This is the youth pastor, who hides behind students and gives them the honor of being sacrificial pawns. He is to be praised for sending honorable boys and girls to their demise for a just and righteous cause.

6. The Rifle - This is the student who plays baseball. All respect his/her rocket arm. Be warned if you mess with The Rifle.

7. The Cursed - A voodoo witch doctor certainly placed a curse on this young individual, for never in the history of dodgeball has someone taken so many shots below the belt. Despite our uncontrollable laughter, we truly are sympathetic.

8. The Wriggler - Heaven forbid this student is hit by the ball and removes himself/herself from the game in an appropriate manner. Rather, the ball strikes him/her and so begins a 2 minute convulsion and death sequence. Nothing can stop this individual from this artistic interpretation of their dodgeball death, except for a few more balls thrown his/her way...especially when thrown by The Rifle.

9. The Liability - This person is a bit of an enigma, but somehow and in someway, they do more damage to their team then good. Whether it is deflecting a ball into a teammate or simply bumbling around, this person is dangerous to stand next to. In some absurd way, your removal from the game will not be at the hands of the enemy, but rather at the clumsiness of your ally.

10. That One Girl - She intends to throw the ball forwards, yet by some mystery it goes backwards. Yes this really happened, and we may never see such a tactical display ever again. Those that witnessed it might never see anything like it ever again.

Got any others to add? Show me in the comments section!

Holiday Mulligan

I love the holidays for many reasons and I imagine I'm not alone in my love for the holidays. Some people love the time off of work/school. For others its the buying and giving of gifts. And others are all about the Christmas parties. Everyone has their favorite thing/things about the holidays. But my favorite thing about the holidays is what I call the "Holiday Mulligan." You see, I intend to be a person of integrity. I try to let my "yes" be "yes" and my "no" be "no." If you are counting me, I do everything in my power to be reliable. Call me crazy, but this is the code that I live by. And sometimes, I'll let someone down. Sometimes I will be at fault and I will need to apologize for not coming through.

I noticed something interesting during this busy Christmas season though. I had made several pledges to people during the course of the holidays. In typical fashion, I overbooked myself and committed to too many things. As I result, I ended up letting people down. But to my surprise, folks are more forgiving than usual, and it occurred to me, rather than take responsibility, just blame the holidays. By some mystery, people are 88% more forgiving if you made a mistake due to the busyness of the holidays.


Forgot to respond to an important phone call? Ran over the neighbors dog? Left your kid at the restaurant when he/she went to the bathroom? No worries, just blame the holidays. People will understand. This, my friends, is the beauty of the holiday season! Not only are are their food, friends, and festivities, but we also have the the ultimate get out of jail card, the Holiday Mulligan! Just blame the holidays and watch your worries go away.

On an unrelated note, some of you were wondering why I haven't been updating the blog the last week and a half. With the holidays and whatnot, I'm sure you will understand why I couldn't keep writing.

Good to be back my friends! I'm one week late (holidays kept me busy you know), but Happy New Year!