Late Sanctification

Some people are always late. I am not one of those people. Those people drive me nuts. Nonetheless, in a grand gesture of heroism, I will offer a tip to all my friends with a delayed disposition. For remember, people grow weary of your excuses. At some point, your friends and family will no longer buy your excuses that attempt to explain your consistent lack of punctuality. Some suggest the solution is to be punctual. I disagree though. You just need a better excuse. Fortunately, I am here to help and I present to you two valid excuses that will have even the most critical of folks forgive your laggard like ways.

The 10:25
As in Luke 10:25-37. That's the parable on the Good Samaritan for those that didn't know. Just like that noble Samaritan, you must help someone in aid. And in doing so, no one will condemn you for being late. No, you will recognized as a hero and as a modern day Good Samaritan. "How noble" is what they will say when they find out you took a old, poor, wounded war widow to the hospital.

Now, I don't condone lying, so you must actually help someone in distress to legally use this excuse, and if you are the one that causes the distress, I am okay with that. If you need to beat up a war widow so that you have a target for your humanitarian efforts, by all means, beat up the war widow. Just never lie about it because lying is a sin.

The Billy Graham
This is the granddaddy of excuses. The ultimate way to get out of being late is to share the Gospel with someone. It doesn't matter how late you are if this is your excuse. Imagine you are late to an important dinner party. Do you really think anyone will give you a hard time for being late because you were spreading the Gospel message? For if anyone even looks disgruntled at you, you simply respond, "Isn't the salvation of a human being more important than our dinner party? So, if you are running late, stop at the gas station and start talking about Jesus. Not only might might the Kingdom of God gain a member, but you now have the ultimate justification for your dawdling.




**Warning** These excuses might not work on Non-Christians. Use at your own discretion