An Updated Guide to Competitive Prayer Ranking

Last year I unveiled my guide to competitive prayer. While it was a good beginning, I would like to provide you, the loyal reader, with an updated guide that ensure that your prayer battles can become even more legendary. Enjoy.

The Holy of Holies Prayer Success Ranker

1. Someone says "Yes, Lord" during your prayer.  +1
2. Someone says "Amen" during your prayer.  +1
3. Someone groans in agreement with your prayer.  +.5
4. Someone yawns during your prayer.  -1
5. Someone falls asleep during your prayer  -10
6. Someone walks away during your prayer - 15
7. Someone says "Hallelujah" or "Praise Jesus" during your prayer  +3 (x2 if they are a Lutheran)
8. Your prayer brings someone to tears.  +5
9. Someone doesn't say "Amen" at the end of your prayer.  -1
10. Some laughs at your prayer.  -3
11. Someone laughs with you during your prayer.  +3
12. You thank God for no injuries during an activity when in fact no one was injured. +1
13. You thank God for no injuries during an activity when in fact someone was injured. - 5
14. Your phone goes off during your prayer.  -3
15. Your phone goes off during your prayer, blasting inappropriate song lyrics. -6
16. You quote scripture during your prayer. +2
17. You quote Scripture during your prayer from the King James Translation.  +5
18. You quote Scripture during your prayer from the original Hebrew/Greek. + 7
19. You quote Scripture during your prayer from the original Aramaic.  +10
20. You incorrectly cite a passage of Scripture.  - 3
21. You begin your prayer by saying "Dear God."  -1
22. You refer to God as "Abba Father." +2
23. You refer to God as "Daddy."  +4
24. You refer to God as "Mommy" -4
25. Another person refers to God as "Daddy" after you. + 2
26. Another person refers to God as "Mommy" after you. -4
27. You pray for "traveling mercies."  - 2
28. You pray that God would "be" with someone.  - 2
29. You gossip about somebody during your prayer.  -2
30. You gossip about somebody during your prayer and that person is in the prayer circle.  +2
31. You gossip about somebody during your prayer and that person is in the prayer circle and he/she says "Amen." +6
32. You break out into worship song during your prayer.  +10
33. You use a quote from any secular movie, t.v. show, or song during your prayer. +1 (+3 if someone says "Hallelujah" or "Praise Jesus" after you quote the line)
34. Your stomach grumbles audibly during the prayer. -1
35. You fart during your own prayer.  -3
36. But everyone thinks someone else farted.  +4
37. You begin coughing or sneezing during your prayer. -1
38. You begin speaking in tongues during your prayer.  +7
39. Someone else begins speaking in tongues during your prayer. +10
40. Someone in the prayer circle is miraculously healed during your prayer. +20.
41. The building your prayer group is in collapses. -50
42. The building your prayer group is in collapses but no one is killed or injured. +60
43. Someone in the group becomes possessed by a demon during your prayer.  -35
44. You are possessed by a demon during your prayer.  -45
45. Jesus returns to earth during your prayer.  +1,000,000