Flushstrong

Last week I was at Catalyst with the SVCC staff. If you don't know what Catalyst is, it is a large annual conference for pastors, leaders, etc. It was held at the very large and exquisite Mariners Church in Irvine, California. Many famous pastors, executives, and celebrities participate as speakers and delight the audience with their humor, insight, and all-around awesomeness. It was a great time to learn from some of the top minds in Christendom, but what proved to be most significant might surprise you.

After completing my business in the restroom, I was shocked at how amazingly powerful the toilets were at Mariners Church. It makes sense though, a church that has multiple services with a sanctuary that fits 4,000 people needs high powered toilets. But here is the million dollar question: Do high-powered toilets cause church growth, or is it merely a correlation that large churches have high-powered toilets?

Perhaps you are wondering why this is significant? Well a few reasons:

1. If toilet function is significant in the causality of church size and Sierra Vista intends to grow, then it is of primary importance to upgrade our toilets.

2. On the other hand, if there is a correlation between toilet flush power and church size, it still remains important to consider upgrading our toilets for these following reasons:

• Correlation does not imply causation, but can church growth be sustained without the existence of high-powered toilets at SVCC? This is perhaps an important correlation to consider for our future health and well-being as a church.

• What kind of message does it send if we continue to grow as a church but condone weak, underpowered toilets? Do we run the risk of alienating new people? Perhaps a new convert has no experience with a high-powered toilet, but what sort of message do we send to those who have experienced mega-church flush power?

• Can we afford to have people missing out on worship, the sermon, or fellowship because of 2, 3, or even 4 flushes unnecessary flushes?

Clearly we stand on the precipice of major church reform. We spend money to feed the poor, build water wells in Africa, and equip our people to grow in love for God and the community, but I cannot help but think we are missing out on what is most important. Sure, you can say "this is all a load of crap," but that is exactly what we will have on our hands if we fail to respond! In light of this new and revealing data, we must faithfully open our wallets and support our new "Flushstrong" campaign (elder approval pending). For a generous donation, we can finally have the toilets that the Kingdom of God deserves.

This post is dedicated to all the churches who have neglected the Kingdom of God and instead argue about carpet color, flag placement, and God knows what else! May God be with them.